A new song to sing: How music therapy helped me heal after breast cancer

By Mila Knight

Mila Knight

In the symphony of life, the melody of our experiences often plays a tune of unexpected twists and turns. For me, this melody was one of resilience, self-advocacy, and the healing power of music.

As a proud black female immigrant from Trinidad and Tobago, my life's rhythm has been shaped by diverse influences. From the rhythmic beats of Trinidad to the eclectic record collection of my DJ father, my musical journey has been a gratifying fusion of various genres of music. 

In 2019, the melody of my life took an unexpected turn when I was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer. As a new member of the adolescent and young adult cancer community (AYA), I faced a reality I never imagined.

A rough start to a new beginning

My journey with cancer began with a heartbreaking loss of someone who had been like a mother to me, coming just months after losing my beloved aunt to pancreatic cancer. Growing up, my aunt was my rock. She taught me the importance of kindness, compassion, and education. Her passing was traumatic, especially since I was living in another country at the time and could not be there in her final moments. This loss added layers of grief and complexity to my journey.

As I underwent treatment, including chemotherapy, a bilateral mastectomy (also known as a double mastectomy), and radiation, I faced a lot of physical and emotional challenges that tested my will power. I often found myself questioning my strength and resilience. One of the most challenging aspects of my journey was losing my hair. Before starting chemotherapy, I made the difficult decision to shave off all of my hair, as I didn't want to see it fall out in clumps. It was a heartbreaking moment, but it was also a moment of empowerment, as I took control of my body and my journey. 

The sound of healing

In the midst of this adversity, I found solace in music. Music has always been my therapy, but after my cancer diagnosis, it became my lifeline. I discovered music therapy while posting on social media about my cancer journey. On one occasion, a licensed music therapist from The American Music Therapy Association shared ways I could include music in my healing process. On another occasion, a breast cancer survivor introduced me to a music therapy and cancer clinical trial at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. 

Music therapy involves working with a licensed music therapist to dive into listening, moving, singing, meditating, writing, visualizing, and learning to express yourself through music. It's all about tackling various emotions, like anxiety and fear linked to cancer. It's not just about playing an instrument; it's about using music as a tool for emotional expression and healing. A music therapist becomes a member of your medical team, alongside the doctors, and works with you to develop your individual program. 

Research shows music therapy can help with anxiety, depression, pain, and fatigue in cancer patients - and I can vouch for it firsthand. There were tough days where music lifted me up, moments of pain eased with music-guided visualizations, and emotions expressed through songs. Using music to let it all out, whether through tears or just getting lost in the melody, was priceless. Music therapy was a gentle yet powerful way for me to cope, offering a less intimidating option to talk therapy. Plus, the fact that it's often available for free in some cancer centers or covered by insurance makes it a worthwhile path to explore.

Through songwriting and singing, I channeled my pain into power, my fear into freedom, and my sorrow into strength. To be honest, going through cancer also exposed buried traumas; traumas I had to confront before making peace with any possible outcome.

Each song became a way to process my emotions, to share my story, and to connect with others who were facing similar struggles. I became vocal in sharing my story, and urged others to listen to their bodies, to do self-breast exams, and to be their own best health advocates when engaging with doctors and medical professionals. 

A song of resilience 

Today, in 2024, I am proud to say that I am a cancer survivor. I now stand on the cusp of a new chapter, adamant to take advantage of this second chance at life I have been given, and living my dream of pursuing music. My battle with cancer has taught me the importance of vulnerability, self-love, and the healing power of music. I am excited to continue my musical journey, sharing my story and my songs with the world. 

My music is a beacon of light for those navigating their own journey of healing. My debut song, "The Longest Goodbye" is a song of resilience, love, and the enduring power of the human spirit. It reminds us to treasure each moment, to hold onto love fiercely, and to embrace life's journey with open hearts and unwavering courage.

In sharing my story, I hope to inspire others to embrace their vulnerabilities, to find strength in their struggles, and to lean on the healing power of music. For me, music is a calling, a mission to bring comfort, courage, and compassion to those in need. Music is a reminder that like a melody in a song, every journey is unique, full of ups and downs, but ultimately, a path to self-discovery.