Guiding Light: Supporting Children After A Parent’s Cancer Diagnosis
By Katrece Nolen
It was as if the earth had given way beneath me, leaving me surrounded by a sense of apprehension and ambiguity. Having been diagnosed with stage 3 inflammatory breast cancer just a few days prior, my primary concern was the impact this news would have on my children's mental health. My husband and I agreed that it was crucial to be candid with our children, informing them of the truth regardless of their ages, and guiding them through the complexities of cancer.
Having the cancer conversation with kids
We held a family meeting in the living room and shared what was happening to me. Our children were young – only 11, 7, and 3 years old. We were conveying a topic that even some adults had difficulty comprehending. Our youngest son was unaware of what was occurring, but our two older daughters were saddened by the news, yet hopeful that everything would eventually be alright.
Not too long after, I perused a bulletin that I picked up from my oncology office and discovered a nearby cancer center named Life With Cancer, which offered a remarkable program tailored specifically for children whose parents had been diagnosed with cancer. The program provided a secure haven where children could learn about cancer, express their emotions, and connect with others facing similar challenges.
Katrece and her family.
Building resilience in children
We enrolled our girls in the six-week program, and the impact of this support on my children's lives has been immeasurable. One memory that stands out is the joy and relief my middle daughter experienced during her participation in the program. She was only seven years old at the time, and Life With Cancer provided her with an outlet to explore her emotions, ask questions, and share her thoughts among a group of understanding peers. Through storytelling, coloring activities, and interactive sessions, the program nurtured a sense of empowerment and resilience within her young spirit.
One activity that had a lasting impact was when each child had the opportunity to create their own bear. As they carefully assembled each piece, it became more than just a stuffed animal. It became a symbol of their strength and growth in the face of adversity. My daughter proudly declared that she wasn't growing like a weed, as some had suggested, but rather like a beautiful flower, reminding us all of the resilience that can flourish even amidst the toughest circumstances.
Reflecting on that challenging time, I am grateful for the immense value that the Life With Cancer program provided to my entire family. They not only provided a sense of community and understanding but also equipped children with the necessary coping mechanisms to navigate the complexities of the cancer journey. By acknowledging their fears, validating their emotions, and fostering connections with peers who share their experiences, such programs create a space for healing and growth.
It’s possible to parent with cancer
Parenting with cancer is an arduous journey, but with the right support, it becomes more manageable. Programs like Life With Cancer play a vital role in ensuring that the emotional well-being of children in such situations is addressed with care and compassion.
As a proud 10-year survivor of inflammatory breast cancer, I now look back on the tremendous impact that Life With Cancer had on our family's journey. The support we received helped us weather the storm and emerge stronger, both individually and as a unit. It is my hope that more families facing similar circumstances find solace in programs like these, allowing their children to thrive and grow amidst the challenges of the cancer journey.
Beyond the immediate impact of the Life With Cancer program, the lessons and experiences my children gained have continued to shape their lives as they journey through adolescence and into young adulthood. The seeds of resilience that were planted during those early days continue to sprout, helping them face life's challenges with strength and grace.
A lasting impact
As my children grew older, they carried with them the understanding that life is not immune to hardships. They developed a deep empathy for others facing difficult circumstances and became advocates for those in need. They learned to approach life's obstacles with a sense of determination, inspired by the resilience they witnessed in the faces of fellow program participants.
As we continue to nurture the seeds of resilience, my family and I carry forward the spirit of hope and empowerment that the Life With Cancer program instilled within us. We are proof that support programs have the power to transform lives, nurture strength, and foster unity. Together, we can create a world where no family faces cancer alone, where every child finds solace and support in the embrace of a loving community.
Click Here to Get Linked to Resources For:
Parenting With Cancer
Support Groups and Online Communities
The More You Know
Check out Living Beyond Breast Cancer’s “Reading for Reassurance” program that offers books tailored for children with a parent who has been diagnosed with breast cancer in the last six months.
Katrece Nolen is the author of the book titled, “I’ve Been Diagnosed, Now What? Courageously Fight Cancer in the Face of Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt.” In it she describes her journey and that of her family to seek understanding and support through the cancer journey. In her book, she includes “Survivor Secrets,” and tips to support the children of parents fighting cancer.
